Swimming Was Washed Out! · Tuesday May 15, 2007 by Abbie
I was expecting to go to the disabled swimming session today, but when Ram woke up he wasn’t very happy when I told him it was swimming day. So I said that we didn’t have to go if he really didn’t want to, but I would like to go to the greengrocers later on. He agreed to that as long as he got to choose some extra sweets. He has been wanting a 50 g bag of sour apples for ages now!
We read for a bit and then went into the bathroom where we have the big chart on the wall telling us what we do each day. He again explained that he didn’t feel up to swimming and I gently started to try to get him to tell me why. He was close to tears when he said that it was too close to the day that dad came!
We talked at length about what to do. Dxh prefers to come over as close to the weekend as possible for the respite day as otherwise he finds that it breaks up his week too much. But Ram finds that being with Dad on Saturday for the family day, and then again on Monday for the respite day, leaves him without enough energy to cope with swimming on the Tuesday.
Some weeks it will be better as we can go swimming on a Wednesday when there isn’t a home ed meeting. But I am not sure how we are going to sort this out. My two boys have opposing needs, and I will be caught in the middle trying to keep both of them happy.
Ram decided that watching TV would be a good idea, so we sat down on the new sofa and settled in. I got out my weavette loom to do a little weaving while watching TV so Ram got out the potholder loom. Ram finds doing weaving like this really calms him down, and it was just what he needed this morning.
Although the day started rainy, by 11 it was sunny, so I gently started to suggest that we go out to the greengrocers. He kept putting it off. In the end we had lunch and then I went up to my nap. When I came down he was still watching something, so I waited. I didn’t really want to push him too hard as I knew that when he is in this fragile state he can get so upset that we wouldn’t be able to get out at all.
Finally at three he was ready to go. He cheerfully got into the car and as we drove to town, I could see the clouds getting blacker. Then the heavy spots of rain started. By the time we got to town and parked it was absolutely chucking it down!
We decided to sit in the car a bit, and wait to see if it stopped or at least got lighter. I told Ram I was really angry with myself for not putting my foot down and making him come out earlier while it was still sunny. He sighed, and then said: “Ah, the beautiful gift of hindsight. If only it were more useful!”
We laughed and I banged my head repeated against the steering wheel! How can a child who can’t even get himself dressed in the morning come up with such grown up and philosophical sayings!
Eventually we got brave enough to get out of the car and start shopping. Ram was in his buggy with one of my large rain jackets on, trying to hold a big golf umbrella up over both of us, which me pushing but having to stoop down to get under the umbrella. We must have looked quite a sight!
We got back just in time to watch The Roman Mysteries, and then Blue Ram. After supper and some computer games we did some more weaving while watching a bit of TV. Ram wove three pot holders. One for me and two for his Dad. He was very proud of them. But we will have to remember when we have put them as the Dxh has had to fly to Uganda for business. I hope that he brings us something educational back!
While we were getting ready for bed Ram told me that he didn’t regret not going swimming today. He said that he made the right decision at the time and still felt that it was the right decision. I am glad that he is learning to make decisions and also learning to feel comfortable with his decisions.
Now, if only I could get him to decide what it is that he wants to eat at meals!
Drains · Monday May 14, 2007 by Abbie
Ram slept in today a bit. As the Dxh was coming today for respite day at 10, we didn’t read very much. Ram was still in his getting up routine when Dxh arrived, so he got to see how difficult it is to keep things moving. Ram had to sit and tell us all about various things with both of us constantly reminding him of what he was supposed to be doing.
I had to go into town for some caustic soda as the kitchen drain was blocked. The last time I had to unblock the kitchen drain was seven years ago, and ask it is so well used with me cooking from scratch every day, I think that is pretty good going.
Even though I wanted to leave as soon as Dxh got here by the time I had got Ram his breakfast and said goodbye it was 11. In the ironmongers I plopped down two bottles of caustic soda and a pair of extra long rubber gloves. He gave me the look that said ‘I bet I know what you are doing.’ So I started chatting to him and said that I bet he didn’t! I told him all about how we make our own soap out of caustic soda and oil or fat! I even went into the detail of how soap was discovered.
This is on of the hazards of home education. You don’t just make something, you turn it into an educational opportunity and find out as much about it as you can! The man (he was elderly and only standing in for the usual owner) was absolutely amazed! He said it just goes to show you are never too old to learn!
When I got back it was time for lunch and my nap. I decided to do the drains afterwards. I had fully planned to do it myself, but both my boys decided to help! We opened up both the drain covers, found which area the blockage was in, got the rods (they double for chimney sweeping) and gave a little push which sorted it out really quickly, then put down the caustic soda mixture to clean it all out. Ram was fascinated and did as much as he could to help while holding his nose!
I consider watching how to unblock drains very educational. If a child is at school from early on until late in after school clubs, they will not see as much of this everyday life that a home educated child will. And which is more important when you grow up and become a home owner: unblocking drains or doing SATS papers!
After we cleaned everything up, Dxh and Ram went onto playing with the ball on the trampoline while I worked on the DLA form. It took me one and a half hours to print off and paste my notes onto the pages. I now just have to wait for a couple of people to write their supporting letters and it will be ready to go.
Once again there was too much on TV for Monday night. But luckily the hard disc recorder is a little more empty with all the watching that we did yesterday. I am sure as usual it will take all week to catch up with the programmes we record from tonight.
A Very Wet and Educational Sunday · Sunday May 13, 2007 by Abbie
It was raining really hard here today. I love that sort of melancholy rainy day. When I was younger I used to love to curl up with a good book and some popcorn on a day like today, but we read together so much that reading isn’t really considered special for Ram. Instead we caught up with some TV programmes.
But before that we had a very important radio programme to listen too. Normally we brush Rams very long hair and re-plait it while he sits in the bathroom window watching the wildlife in the garden. But today we listened to Radio5Live as a cyber friend of ours was going to be interviewed about home education opposite Tony Mooney who is a home education inspector who seems to be against home education.
It was great listening to Fiona and her son Theo defend home education, and when I said that Mr Mooney had just shot himself in the foot (he has said that home ed was ok for articulate people like Fiona but not for people in council estates and Fiona pointed out that she lived in a council estate!) Ram said that he hoped they couldn’t get the bullet out! A typical Aspie response to something that was not mean to be taken literally!
Then we watched the extended version of Have I Got News For You. Once again we got to see the funny side of the news. I find it easier to watch it from the recording because we can pause it and discuss what they are talking about and I can fill in on bits of information that Ram doesn’t know about or understand. It is a great fun way of getting a child to understand what is normally considered too boring for children, and even some adults – politics!
We then watched the final episode of The Science of the Superstorm. It is chilling to think that hurricanes have always been hitting New York City, just not in the last couple of hundred years. So maybe the hurricanes we are having now are not just caused by global warming.
I think one of the greatest things we can teach our children is to question things. It is only by questioning things that we can truly learn. Home education is something where children can naturally question everything, and draw their own conclusions after looking at the evidence. At school this is not something that is encouraged. With all the tests that go on, a child at school is taught to pass tests, not to question things. So questioning the current views on global warming is a very important part of home education for us.
After lunch and my nap we decided to sit down and watch our rental DVD which was The Goonies. It was just the right silly adventurous kiddies film for a wet Sunday afternoon. And completely devoid of anything educational!
Having watching TV almost all day (we ‘watched’ the radio interview on the TV because we could only get Five Live on freeview) we decided to not watch any more in the evening. After supper we put together our summer wreath, having taken down the Spring and Easter decorations yesterday. We have lots of craft materials from Opitec that we can put onto straw wreaths that we hang on the inner door to the house.
The summer wreath was already covered with moss, so all we had to do was to glue on some little wooden shapes plus some fabric flowers. Last year we put the wooden shapes on unpainted, but this year Ram helped me paint them. It was a really enjoyable 30 minutes of shared craft work – something that Ram doesn’t often do on his own.
I then read aloud again until bed time. It was lovely to curl up on the new sofa. Ram was pottering around with the Lego after a while but came and sat on the sofa with me too.
We got up to bed early this evening which was good as I have had a couple of disrupted nights with the dog recently. We were reading the same book as when we were on the sofa, but the difference was I didn’t have far to go when I fell asleep!
Packing and Moving But Not Moving · Saturday May 12, 2007 by Abbie
We started today with a little reading, but ended up getting up for breakfast a little earlier than usual. I guess Ram was hungry enough to want to give up the nice warm bed and a book for food. Either that or he was eager to get on with the computer game!
When the Dxh arrived Ram was busy replaying Discworld 2 as we had read on an Internet site that there were ‘Easter eggs’ where if you clicked on something in the game you were shown something else.
Dxh immediately went into help. I don’t think the Dxh ever made it to the end in these games, as back in the good old days there weren’t any hints or walk-throughs on the Internet! We told Ram how we were one of the first people to get onto the Internet in our village. It is easy enough for us to remember live pre computers and Internet, but this way of life and finding information has always been there for Ram.
It was nice that the two of them could share their love of this computer game, as it gave me a lovely hour on my own in the kitchen making lunch of home-made soup and home-made hummus.
We talked more about recent history at lunch as we told Ram about his birth. We also got into a discussion of the intelligence of animals and whether they understand things as humans do. Our other dog that died a few years ago was a very intelligent dog. He genuinely knew what a mirror was for, and could recognise himself in photos. I guess it was a conversation that would go into the philosophy category of home education.
After lunch we swapped the new and old sofas around so that Ram could have the old one to muck about on, and the new one would be for proper sitting on. After tidying up a little bit, we had no problem moving the old two seater on out of the way, but when we went to pick up the new one it proved heavier than we thought. Ram came to the rescue! He simply pointed out that we could take the cushions off! He was absolutely right! It was much lighter without the cushions and we had no problem getting it into position.
I went up for my nap then while the boys played more computer games. We were not able to get the sound working in Discworld 1 because the hardware in the computer it too advanced for this old software. Never the less Ram still enjoyed it and of course it is all reading practice for him.
After my nap we did some more packing in the kitchen. We are finally having it finished after 12 years of living in the barn, and this means that I have to move everything out of the shelves so that they can put on proper worktops rather than the scraps that we put together originally. At first both Ram and Dxh couldn’t understand what I meant by ’ take all the linen and baking tins and put them in boxes.’ Eventually they got the idea and Ram enjoyed folding all the tea towels and table clothes into a box while Dxh put all the baking tins into another box. I just hope the carpenter doesn’t take too long to come round and do all the work because I have already found things that are packed away that I need. At least when you move you have a date by which you know you will be able to unpack things again!
It was a strange evening as Dr Who wasn’t on. But we had the computer game to keep us going after Dxh left. And of course there was the Discworld book to snuggle down into bed again with!
Let Then Eat Cake · Friday May 11, 2007 by Abbie
We had another day of Discworld today. While we were in bed reading I asked if Ram wanted me to read aloud to him, or to play the computer game. He said he wanted to play the game. So I suggested that I would bake a cake while he did that.
After we got dressed he went straight to his Lego and asked me to read! I mentioned that we had decided to play the computer game and make a cake. He said later!
I don’t know if he genuinely changed his mind, or if he decided that he didn’t want me in the kitchen while he was in the study, so changed his mind. It is so hard to tell sometimes.
After lunch he did decide to play the game. Well, he decided that as I couldn’t read to him while having a power nap, that he would play the game, and he just carried on afterwards.
After my nap I came down and helped him to find the walk-throughs and hints, then I left him to go and bake the cake. I was glad he was now happy doing the game on his own. Yesterday he needed me to read the hints out to him. Today he was able to read them himself and work through the entire game!
He managed to finish the game early enough that he was able to go back to Discworld 1. We took a break to watch the programme on Channel 5 about making a pterosaur then went back to the game for a little while. I did some digging around on the Internet and found out some information about why we are not getting any sound on Discworld 1. I have bookmarked it for Dxh to look at, as I am sure he will be able to sort it out for us.
Thank goodness for old computer games – and Dxhs to help us keep them going!
Thank Goodness for Old Computer Games · Thursday May 10, 2007 by Abbie
I was right about the tennis! This morning Ram told me all about how tennis is scored. I suggested that he might be interested in watching a bit of Wimbledon on TV this year. He thought about that for a moment (he never answers right away because it takes him a while to process things) and said yes!
It was a very different day today than we have recently have been having. Ram had noticed the Dxh’s old Discworld games on the shelf and decided to try them. We couldn’t get the voice overs to work on Discworld 1 so I spent most of the morning reading things to him. He doesn’t need absolutely everything read to him, but he does still have problems and if we was stuck on something it was usually because he hadn’t read it properly.
Ram decided that he would give up on Discworld 1 and load up Disworld 2. Luckily we have two hard disks in Ram’s computer specifically for the old games that need to work on Windows95. Although we did manage to confuse the computer by having two external drives. The game wouldn’t load up because it didn’t recognise the CD drive. We tried all sorts of things, until I finally realised that all I had to do was put it in the DVD drive, which also recognises CDs! I think it is good for kids to see their parents struggle sometimes. It lets them know that everyone has difficulty and no one gets it right all the time.
The voice overs were working in the game, so I didn’t have to read as much. But as the game is actually an adult game, there was no way Ram would ever be able to do it on his own. I don’t think I could do it on my own either! So I searched the Internet and found some hint generators and a walk through. Because they were quite hard to read and were on my computer, I had to keep switching over from what I was doing to the websites and read the next steps for Ram.
I am sure that some would think of this as cheating, but actually it is very educational. Ram has problems remembering sequences of things, so by me reading out several steps to follow, and then letting him try to do it, it is helping develop his skills.
After watching It’s Not Easy Being Green, Ram went back to play the game for a while. I finally put my foot down and said bedtime. He saved his game and exited it. As he normally uses the XP disk on that computer he had forgotten what he had on the Win98 disk. He clicked on a game from Grey Olltwit’s Educcational Freeware that was about dinosaurs.
It is always frustrating to have Ram start an educational game so late at night. Half of me wants to let him play it as it is hard to get him to do overtly educational things. The other half of me is already asleep!
Big Word Day · Wednesday May 9, 2007 by Abbie
I couldn’t wait for the reading to be over this morning as our new to us sofa arrived just before Ram woke up! I really wanted to sit on it, but Ram just wanted me to read ‘a few more pages’!
We finally got downstairs and had a good sit on it. It isn’t actually used, but is from the factory showroom. It had some dust on the wooden frame on the back so it fits in very well with out house.
I was a bit worried at how Ram would take it as he often has difficulty with new things, but he seems to be fine with it. Unfortunately it is in the wrong place at the moment. Ram can’t sit on a sofa to watch TV for some reason. We have a completely open plan room downstairs, so in the sitting area we have a sofa facing the TV for adults to sit on, and Ram’s dog kennel, and along the back of that we have another sofa facing the kitchen. Ram usually knees on this leaning against the back facing the TV to watch TV. Right now the new sofa is there, but I don’t really want him sitting on it that way as the cushions will be damaged. In fact that is one reason why we got the new sofa. So we will have to swap the old small sofa and the new one around at the weekend when the Dxh is here.
As the sofa arrived so early, we decided to pay a last minute visit to My Dear Friend who had the stroke last year. Her son was at school, but Ran was happy to play on his Wii. On the way over in the car Ram said that he would like to try out the insults he read about in the book. I laughed because even though MDF has memory problems, as a linguist I knew that she would know those words. Ram laughed when I told him, then he thought for a moment, and said: “Actually, saying that she is discombobulated isn’t an insult, it is true since she had her stroke!” I again laughed and said that I thought MDF would think it was funny too.
So when we got there Ram sat down with us in the sitting room and told her about the book, and the insults, and why calling her discombobulated wasn’t really an insult but the truth. She did think it was funny, and was impressed with the words. Ram then went up to play Wii tennis. I imagine he will know a lot more about tennis now.
After Ram left the room MDF said that she was really touched that he talked to her like that. It was the first time he had had a discussion with her.
Ram came downstairs when her youngest son came home from school , and said he wanted to go home. I said that indeed it was time to go home but first we had to let MDF to finish talking, as Ram had just barged in and interrupted. We also had to sort out some more Discworld books to borrow, so it did take about 10 minutes to finally say goodbye.
In the car on the way home Ram was in tears of anger! He said that all neurotypical people lie all the time and they shouldn’t! Apparently it was too long between the time of saying that we were going to leave, and the moment that we actually left the house! He really was very upset about it. And he didn’t calm down for some time after we got home!
He was still in a bit of a mood in the evening. We had a bit of time before we watched TV so I was trying to update the blog, but Ram was still in a mood and wouldn’t leave me alone. I finally snapped at him. He went off and sat on the new sofa with a blanket over him in the dark. When I came out of the study, I sat down beside him and gave him a cuddle through the blanket. He was much calmer now, and he told me that he was pretending that he was listening to different universes. One was the birds universe where he could hear the birds singing, another was the water universe where he could hear the cave universe where he could hear the dripping of the rain water, and pretended it was water dripping on rocks, and the computer universe where he could hear me typing on the computer.
We then settled in to watch How the Other Half Learns. It was a real eye opener for Ram as he has no knowledge of either private boarding schools or state comprehensives!
Yet more Discworld at bedtime, but there wasn’t as much as usual as I started to fell asleep. I don’t know how much longer Ram was awake but it was some time after I started to fall asleep because he woke me up a couple of times.
A Very Eduational Day · Tuesday May 8, 2007 by Abbie
After our usual early morning read in bed of a Discworld book, we had a quick breakfast and then went off to the disabled swim session. The people there must be getting used to us because some of the more mentally able adults spoke to us. One introduced himself as Jack of Shrewsbury (names changed to protect the innocent, both the town and the person!) and it was clear that where he came from was very important because he needed to know which town or village we were from. We also head about some excitement in town involving some police cars which turned out to be a training exercise!
Ram was good and seem to tolerate me talking to them, which is a good sign that he is settling in well with this crowd.
Afterwards we went into the little shopping area of town, and went to go down to the ‘wind and sky’ shop to see if we could get a kite Frisbee and to see if they have some ankle supports that would fit Ram. We got a tip off from someone in Boots when we went in to complain about Boots changing the form of their supports so that they don’t work any more. She was a windsurfer herself and said that she had some and was sure that I could get them in a shop that sells windsurfing things.
Much to our amazement the shop had closed! This is the third shop in that row that has closed! To turn the buggy round on the narrow pavement I had to go further down the road and passed a shop that we had never seen before. It was an exotic pet and bird shop.
There was no one in there but the critters and the owner, so we had a wonderful 45 minutes finding out all about the reptiles and having a chat with the parrot! Ram has been talking about what he would like when Arrow the arthritic dog finally dies, and it looks like he has his eye on a bearded lizard. It even seems that we would be able to take one with us when we went to visit Ram’s friend Banana. We discussed it on the way home, and he does like them but really does want to wait until the dog dies. She is 14 now, but since we have got her on the Glucosamine , turmeric and anti-inflammatories, she is feeling much better so it could still be another couple of years.
When we got home there were two parcels of books that we had ordered. One of them was The Boys’ Book: How to Be the Best at Everything by Guy Macdonald. Ram was enthralled by it, and has put book marks in the pages that he likes the best. On of the first to be marked was How to Insult Someone and Get Away With It. It involved long words, the idea being that most people wouldn’t know what they meant. The first one was asinine which I did know and it disappointed Ram. Luckily a few of them I didn’t know.
We then settled down to watch our rental DVD which was Far From Home: The Adventures of Yellow Dog. It was one of those films that was emotional, but it was also full of adventure. Ram isn’t good with emotions but I think it is important for him to see his mum cry at sad films, just so that he gets used to the idea that some people, especially women, can’t always control their tears!
We had to break for after school TV as it was the start of The Roman Mysteries, a dramatisation of the books by Caroline Lawrence” which we have read and referred to in my blog entry from last year ‘Yo Saturnalia!’
We both really enjoyed it and I have a feeling that it may even start our interest in all things Roman again. Although I think we will have to wait until we have finished the Discworld series first!
After supper we watch Return of the Tribe, which was about a tribe from Papua New Guinea. It was very interesting not only to see how they handled being in such a different country, but it gave Ram a look at London, a place he himself have never been.
Another full day was finished by yet again a Discworld book. We are on the second book in the series now, as we read a few out of order. This bit of escapism was nice at the end of a day that was full of educational opportunities!
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Light at the End of the DLA Tunnel · Monday May 7, 2007 by Abbie
It was respite day today, so as soon as the Dxh got here I settled down to working on the DLA form.
One of the questions is ‘Does the child need help or encouragement in moving around indoors’. In the guidance it says ‘Does your child often remain in one place engaged in repetitive activities and need encouragement to move around.’ The Dxh didn’t think that would apply to Ram, but when I came out after two hours Ram was still in exactly the same place as where he was when I went into the study. He had been complaining that his ankles really hurt that morning, and so hadn’t moved! Once I pointed this out both Dxh and Ram realised that they had been doing that without realising it! So I got Ram up and moving around again.
It has been really hard but I have finally broken the back of the form. It takes so long. Even photocopying the form itself took ages as I kept being called away to see to Ram. I haven’t got much left to go now so I am feeling much more positive about it all. However, it is all so upsetting to read in black and white the disabilities of a loved one, that I won’t be reading through the form again. I left it up to Dxh to proof read it, before I print it out and put it all together.
I didn’t really see much of Ram today, until the Dxh left. Then we have dinner and watched Fifth Gear, one of his favourite programmes. I think it is important to watch together if you are watching TV. It can become so much more educational, and we get so much more out of it. And yes, sometimes it is Ram that is explaining things to me!
My past, Ram's future · Sunday May 6, 2007 by Abbie
Today was a calmer day after yesterday’s stressful Family Meeting. It is a good thing we only have them once a month!
We watched some of the educational programmes that we have recorded. We used to stay up to ten at night to watch them live but now we go up to bed to read at nine and have to catch up with the recording during the day.
On of the programmes we watched was the Yusuf Islam concert. When he was Cat Stevens I was a huge fan and had all his records and music books. I played guitar just like him and found out as much about him as I could. Yes, I even had a crush on him!
My first exposure to education by project rather than subject was when my older cousin was at university doing her degree in teaching. She thought that Cat Stevens might be a good subject and I readily agreed to help her. English was easily covered as his lyrics are really proper poems, as well as music and different instruments, including those from other countries. Foreign language was covered as one of the songs had lyrics in Greek. As he explored religion so to could that be explored with the children. Art, from the art work of the albums, maths from the Numbers album, geography and history from the various places he had been or where the albums were recorded, and I am sure there was more!
I won’t be doing this with Ram for two reasons. Firstly, because his attention span is too short for project work, and secondly because all my albums and music books were left in Canada when I came over here, and have since disappeared! Oh, and thirdly, it has nothing to do with Lego!
But he did like the music, and was interested to know why Yusuf converted to Islam, so I think we may get to watch the interview as well.
Ram also played Bookworm Adventures again. About half way through the Yusuf Islam concert he decided to go back to the computer. It was good that I didn’t rush in to help straight away, as he had to try to work out the spelling of the words himself. He did keep running into me and asking how to spell words, so eventually I gave up and joined him.
We finished the day with our monthly bath. This is the second month we have had it. It was supposed to be something that we started after Ram’s birthday, but somehow we never quite remembered to have it. We have now decided to have it the same weekend of the Family Meeting and it is working out quite well.
Usually he insists on using all his baby bath toys, but this month he was more grown up and it was only at the very end that he got one wind up fish out to play with. I can’t really fault that as it was the fish that Father Christmas put in my stocking!
Ram still needs me in the bath, and we touched lightly on when he might be ready to have me out of the bath but in the room with him. He isn’t there yet, but I can see the signs that the time will come in the future when he will be able to handle that.
