Mothering Sunday · Sunday March 18, 2007 by Lily
Rupert spent most of today socialising as he usually does on a Sunday.
About 2 years ago, I expressed concern that ds didn’t have many friends. He’d always had a young neighbour to play with, but we felt he might like to branch out a bit. I was greeted with, “I’ll make my own friends.” I worried and ruminated.
We had done many things on our own when he first came out of school and before I found there was a fledgling localish HE group. We then joined them for monthly meetings and gym classes. It was always a bit difficult as we depended on lifts to get to the meetings in a village 3/4 hrs drive away, and we started going occasionally to events organised by other groups. My dh was at that time commuting 3 hrs a day to work. It has been easier for us to travel to events in cities and towns with rail links as we have a small town station with 10 minute access to a major junction.
Ds was also doing after school type activities: swimming lessons and music lessons, activities such as gymnastics, canoeing, snorkling and trampolining. On going were Beavers, Cubs and then Scouts, where I helped as Unit Assistant. There were times when I don’t think R would have carried on with Scouting if I hadn’t been helping.
I made a good HE friend unexpectedly through Cubs along with the other friends both of us made. Eventually in 2002 ds tried the Gang Show but it was too much like school for him. In 2004 he tried again and enjoyed it and in 2006 things came to fruition when he auditioned again, was given a place, and through 5 months of rehearsals twice a week he met the lovely small group of friends he now has and they agreed to join the same Explorer Scout Unit.
So, on Sunday he met one friend for a few hours and then at 3ish we fetched another one who stayed for tea until we took him home at 9pm.
I’m so glad the friendship problems I perceived were resolved with a little help from us in encouragement towards taking part in an activity that now is a major part of his life. It was a matter of trying a lot of avenues and finding the one ds was most comfortable with.
Ds found his niche outside the HE community as it happened and he’s hoping to go to college with one or two of his friends in 18 months.
I might add that he joined the GS forum, often becoming the most frequent poster, and he was able to respond to adult members of the forum on line during the day whilst other teens were in school, he started using MSN a great deal which improved his literacy skills and confidence enormously.
Oh and dd came with her family and new baby so I had a baby moment. It’s lovely to see him, he was very premature, but doing so well now.
