What Next?! · Monday October 29, 2007 by Rose
Ok, so now it looks like I’m going soya free too! Baby didn’t react well to the soy-braised chicken, nor the dairy free, soya based ice cream :O(
Saturday was a quiet day, which was just as well as I’d been up most of the night with the baby.
However, just to liven things up, the washing machine broke! We had another one, our old one, in the garage, but that one didn’t work either.
Not good in a household with three adults, four boys, one of whom is a baby!
The boys managed to play well today, in a construction game that inlcuded all of them. They’ve also revived their interest in Sim City, and are taking it in turns to play it.
Sunday morning was church, and in the afternoon we went to visit my brother’s new house.
Got home, to realise that the TOILET had broken too! The pedestal has cracked (its a very old, porcelain one) and the water is dripping through the floorboards onto the cooker below in the kitchen. So we can’t use the cooker top either.
Oh, and on top of that, I got into the car this morning to find the two sun roofs on the car we got given are both leaking.
ARGGHHH!!
Bought a new washing machine today, but the toilet won’t get fixed till at least Thursday.
Anyone got a chemical toilet to lend out?!...
I keep suggesting to JJ, who is very “green” and all for recyling etc, that we ought to take the opportunity to create an outdoor, compost toilet, but he doesn’t seem to find that funny…
It was interesting to see autism mentioned on BBC Breakfast today, with their interview of Emma Noble, as well as the feature on the HE kid who now has his own chocolate company.
Culinary Challenges · Friday October 26, 2007 by Rose
The rest of the week has been quieter, just!
Thursday dh had a hospital appointment, and a business appointment. I had to dash around getting stuff ready, having remembered that we had guests for dinner.
Being gluten, dairy and egg free meant that I had to really think about what to cook. In the end, I used the slow cooker for chicken and then did roasted vegetables and potatoes. Pudding was fruit crumble, made with Pure sunflower spread and Doves gluten free flour.
The evening was really nice, and I felt more relaxed than I usually do with guests, which was good.
This week I’ve found a great way to keep kids/aspies/boys quiet: give them all a new phone!
Dh upgraded his phone, so the old one (a pda type thing) got passed onto JJ for his birthday. It has a radio, phone, camera, and mp3 player, so he is very happy! He also got a DAB radio (much to dh’s annoyance as he doesn’t have one!) and has instantly become a teenager; staying in his room all the time just listening to music.
Another old phone was found, and given to SJ. This also has a camera, as well as a video facility. He has spent the whole day taking photos of everything. And I mean everything. Life through the lens, from the point of view of an aspie. This includes photos of the tv when his favourite programme was on (and is now his wallpaper); a photo of his pepperami (his favourite thing); and lots of photos of his brothers and us taken without them knowing.
As for the videos, I had a look earlier. There are video clips of WD being mad, a film that they watched, his favourite pop video on The Hits, his baby brother, him giving a running commentary going up and down the garden, him eating his dinner (and with me in the background coming into the room yelling at him to put the darn phone down!).
This has meant that SJ’s old phone (mine from 5 years ago!) has been given to WD. So now everyone has a phone. WD does not have credit on his, I hasten to add. That would be too much! Its hard enough stopping SJ from phoning and texting everyone every five minutes!
I’m the only one without a “new” phone :O(
SJ got to level 9 today on his Maths Upgrade. JJ earnt himself some money by agreeing to sit with WD on Education City – in my defense it was when I was rushing around cooking yesterday and realised I hadn’t sat down with him as promised. I don’t intend to pay him to teach his brother – I can’t afford his rates for one thing ;O)
Apparently WD did really well.
Both the older boys have written their blogs, as well as posting more book reviews on JJ’s book blog. SJ now wants another blog. This is triggered by seeing that JJ has Amazon adverts on his blog for all the books. As a self styled entrepreneur, SJ doesn’t like to think he’s missing out on a business opportunity, so he is currently deciding what he can blog about, and put adverts on for!
Talking of money, dh had more sales today for his new business which he has also found has made it to no 4 in Google (that’s my part of the business), which is cool.
Shopping today was hard. How do vegans manage?!
Yet another challenge to my cooking skills. Well, we’ve done vegetarian, gluten free, we were yeast free for a while, low purine, low acid, dairy free for a while, and now its cooking without eggs.
Good job I like fruit and vegetables….
Long Weekend · Wednesday October 24, 2007 by Rose
Sorry for the delay in posting! It’s been even more hectic than usual..
On Friday JJ had his first day of the new sailing course, which went well. Whilst he was out at that, we took the other three shopping. Not a good move! I mean, shopping with three aspies?! Ranging in age from 5 – 40?!! SJ had a meltdown, closely followed by a near-miss for dh!
I lost count of how high I counted up to under my breath!
JJ also had more enquiries to his Book Blog.
I’ve signed WD up for a year with Education City (please use my code if you sign up: E8D45F6F!). I’m hoping that he will get into it which, of course, is reliant upon me making the time to sit down with him.
Having gone gluten and dairy free on Thursday, we started to see an improvement in the baby’s colic, starting with an end to the green nappies!
Sunday, we got up early and drove up to Sheffield to meet with some HE friends. The rest of the day was fairly typical for us…
WD decided to play dodge whilst his other two brothers were on a tyre swing. On the third attempt (by which time we were all yelling at him to stop and my friend was frantically running over to him) he didn’t dodge.
So, one of our friends took dh and him to Sheffield Children’s Hospital A&E! He had quite bad concussion, as well as an egg shaped lump, and he was rather slow in his reactions. However, they let him go with the usual instructions to watch him closely.
Whilst this was going we’d gone back to our other friend’s flat for tea. Eventually we got to our Travelodge by about 8pm.
A word about Travelodges: they are great for aspies! Think about it: all the rooms are the same, wherever you go in the country, therefore SJ always knows what he is walking into and it helps make some of the trip more familiar and therefore less stressful.
I also had an insight when we were getting ready to go. I know that SJ doesn’t “do” getting ready. He can’t cope with it, as it is “grey” not black or white. He is either here, or there. Being in that state of being ready to leave here and go there is distressing for him.
In trying to explain this to JJ who wondered why I’d let SJ and WD go and sit in the car 10 minutes before we were ready to actually go (on the basis that being in the car is nearer to “there” than being in the house waiting), I realised something about DH. He never gets ready until the last second, which drives me (more of a list/plan in advance kind of person!). I had a “duh” head slapping moment where I realised that this is his way of coping with that grey area. Doing it all at the last minute gets around him having to deal with the “getting ready” limbo.
Monday morning we got up, had breakfast (or rather, they did: how do vegans cope? There was no way little chef could cope with a gluten free, dairy free guest!). We drove to the National Space Centre at Leicester which was JJ’s birthday treat.
I actually found it a very stressful outing. Maybe I’m even less NT than I thought, but I found it very non-linear in layout, which was a headache – literally. Also, there were a number of things that JJ wanted to do that the other two didn’t, such as the 3d movie, and the simulator. Whilst he went and did that with DH, I had the other two running around like loons in and out of everything.
Nevermind. The main point is that he had a good day (and so actually did the other two).
We had a tough journey home though, due to traffic, and baby deciding to scream so much of the way, resulting in more stops.
I also was desperate to eat! One portion of McDonald’s fries was my “dinner”!
We finally got home at 9pm. I still had to wrap JJ’s presents!
The good news was that baby slept well, peacefully, back in his own bed!
Next day, I was up in a panic, going into “failure as a mother” mode, having realised that because we’d been away I hadn’t made a birthday cake. Because I normally bake everything, but now didn’t have the time, I had to dash to Sainsbury’s to buy some bits. Thank goodness for gf frozen chicken nuggets!
It might have been a rush, but we ended up with plenty of “party” food for his friends.
They turned up at midday, two home ed families and one from church – whose parents are teachers! The conversation between the adults was, er, interesting… I think the guy felt like Daniel in the lion’s den!
After food, the older kids went to see Ratatouille at the cinema with dh.
Oh, that reminds me, poor dh also developed an infected finger over the weekend, and ended up at our local A&E the night we got back! Today he had to go back and get the finger lanced and is currently in agony on the sofa :o(
Otherwise, today was fairly quiet, with us all tryhing to catch up and JJ working his ways through his new books, plus the other ones that he bought today with his birthday money.
Phew! I’m exhausted from typing that!
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Books, Blogs and Cheese · Thursday October 18, 2007 by Rose
This morning SJ worked on his maths upgrade. JJ received a Silver certificate from the Reading Champions , together with a badge.
I was pleased to see how chuffed he was with that, and even more pleased when he asked what he had to do to get a gold! I explained that the idea was that these were for boys who had gone out of their way to encourage others to read, perhaps by setting up a school reading club.
So, he decided to set up a new blog. Its for any HE kid to come along and sign up to, and the idea is for them to post book reviews. The aim being to encourage each other to read new books.
Fabulous!
From my point of view, not only is this encouraging him to think about what he has read, to put it into words, and thereby improving his english skills, but also it is opening him up to many other HE kids. Win win situation!
And the icing on the cake? SJ was so miffed at not getting a certificate (as reading really isn’t his thing) that he signed up for the blog and promptly posted a review on a book he’d read! If it leads to him reading more, and thinking about books, I shall be extremely pleased!
In the afternoon we had another HE family over. The lad is 6, and got on very well with them all. They set up a great imaginary game, with a police station and a house (apparently!).
In the evening we were watching Cheaper By the Dozen. Ok, so its a cheesy film, but there was one line that really stuck with me.
When the dad goes in to give up his dream job, in order to be there for the kids, when asked if he was sure he was doing the right thing, he said “if I screw up on raising my children, nothing I ever do will be worth it”.
Amen to that.
HE in Action · Wednesday October 17, 2007 by Rose
Today we went with fourteen other families to Godstone Farm. It was a great day, despite the cold wind!
The children enjoyed playing in the huge outdoor play area, touring the animals, and spending some time in the indoor play area (we managed to convince the kids that they were cold, though actually it was us adults that were turning blue!).
It was such a nice atmosphere, and there were several classic “home ed” moments.
A new home educator had turned up, a Dad, and he commented on how well the children all seemed to get on, without any of the “usual” bickering, arguing or bullying that he expected from a bunch of kids.
We all agreed that one of the differences HE makes is that if there are problems, you are there on hand as a parent. With a school, they tell you “we’ll handle it” but you don’t know that they will, nor that they will handle how you want it handled.
We had a prime example. In the course of playing in the indoor area, SJ was crawling through a very small section, when someone sat on his feet to trap him. Just done in the spirit of a game, but of course for him, especially with the Aspergers, it was awful. He got incredibly distressed, and I had to go and make sure he was released.
He took an age to calm down, but I suggested he went and spoke to the mum of the girl, which he did. She then spoke quietly with her daughter.
In the meantime, I explained to SJ that, just as when he had earlier grabbed JJ by the throat and hurt him – but said he “hadn’t meant to”, so this girl had – yes intentionally – sat on his feet, but she hadn’t meant to distress him. It was just the game.
However, the girl came over and very genuinely, very contritely, apologised to SJ. He said “that’s ok”, and then offered her a polo. When she said thanks, he said “well, that’s what best friends are for”.
The new dad was quite amazed, both at how well and how maturely they both handled it, but also how quickly they then moved on.
To us, it was HE in action!
Again, watching the kids run off ahead of us to see the animals, often out of sight of us, was another moment. If it had been a school group, the kids would have had to have been kept on a tight reign, walking together. Totally understandable.
But for us, the kids were relaxed, with their friends, older ones looking after younger ones, plenty of parents on hand, and everyone enjoyed themselves.
Learning Language · Tuesday October 16, 2007 by Rose
This afternoon we went to visit another HE family, where the boys had a chance to play and us two mums had a chance to chat and cacth up. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, not only do the boys have more friends with wider interests than they had at school, but my social life is better too!
JJ worked on his blog again today, with corrections from me. SJ was not really very focused today – we are in that part of his cycle that is more negative – so instead he’d spent the morning helping WD on the computer. He also went on Neopets again.
The deal with Neopets has always been that they have to do some of the “learning” style games when they are on there Games like Animal Genius, Word Pyramid, Typing Terror (which I’m rather good at!), or Maths Nightmare. It seems to work ;0)
Interestingly, this evening we had some conversations about adverts. With the literal interpretation of an aspie, these can be quit a problem. However, we’ve now opened SJ’s eyes to “small print” which hopefully should protect him in the future. Today he was commenting on illogical language – “kills all known germs dead” – I mean, what else would they be if they were killed?!
Small as this sounds, for a kid with Semantic/Pragmatic Disorder, looking at the meaning and use of words in such detail as this is progress.
PC Wars · Monday October 15, 2007 by Rose
I tried JJ out today on the Learning Upgrade system, but he finds the American voice, cheesy music, and bright cartoons a total wind up!
Interestingly, he also said that he found things like LU, Education City et al, simply test what you are already “meant” to know – and you learn knew things by being told that your choice/answer was wrong – rather than informing/teaching you of something new, and then allowing you to test yourself.
Yet for SJ, it works best for him. Go figure. Personalised learning again!
I’ve suggested that JJ tries using the BBC site again, as their format is more to show you something new, and then gives you the option to revise it afterwards, and he’s not yet used their Secondary site.
Despite having no less than four computers in the house (an old windows 98 one courtsey of Freecycle, our old pc, our current pc, and hubby’s laptop) we still had all the boys arguing today over who went on which pc!
From which you can guess that today seemed to revolve around computers, other than breaks to help amuse my nephew who was in the house today (being looked after by my Mum with whom we share a house).
In the afternoon I got the chance to get out the house, taking JJ down to the library. He’s trying to work up to going there on his own. By his age (12) I was always out the house on my own, however between one’s perception of things being less safe “these days”, and his own concerns at being stopped and questionned as a truant, he hasn’t yet done it. The library is only a 15 minute walk from our house, and the staff there all know him, so it will actually be a good place for him to start.
Anyway, we went to the library whilst SJ and WD were on the computers, and then went window shopping – which resulted in a new top for him! An expensive trip to the library!
Some days are like this; nothing much in particular going on, and the children just getting on with their own activities with little more than a guiding hand from me.
Kayaking and Electronics · Saturday October 13, 2007 by Rose
Yesterday afternoon JJ went to take the exam for the kayaking course that he has been taking. For five weeks he has joined with a group of other kids from our group, to take their RYA first certificate. I’m proud to say that he passed! Next week he starts a similar course for sailing (which is something he’s really interested in).
This is the first thing he’s done on his own – both without his brothers and often without us, as someone else has sometimes taken and collected him. I’ve watched him “grow up” considerably over the past five weeks and I’m really enjoying watching him blossom.
As if to reinforce this maturing that puberty is bringing, last night instead of reading before bed (he’s a bookworm like me) instead he put on his pc and found an internet radio station to listen to for an hour and a half! He said it was “helping me relax”!
It feels very strange, as I still remember being a teenager; I can’t get my head around the fact that now a son of MINE is a teen!
Whilst he was out the other two each went onto separate pcs. SJ did his emails and his blog, and WD played a star wars game which he can (just about) play on his own.
We are trying to encourage him to WANT to read so that he can play these games without so much help, but I suspect that is a shot in the foot as he LIKES having his brothers “have to” help him..
This weird speech of his (WD) is making it harder for others to understand him at the moment. With every “i” sound having suddenly become “oi”, strangers can’t understand him. I wish I knew why this had suddenly started.
Meanwhile, baby is still colicky and I am fearing some kind of lactose intolerance; I think its more because of how he is feeding that an actual intolerance.
The free trial for Learning Upgrade has run out, and I merrily signed up for a free reading trial (SJ had tried the maths). I should have thought first. SJ got incredibly upset that he couldn’t do the maths (even though my mum is going to pay for him to have it all the time now) and refused to do the reading. It was a reminder of the fact that I really have to think about things from his perspective first, rather than always acting on what I think is suitable.
Yet again I realise just how hard it would have been for him if he had still been in school.
Today we had a photographer round from a national paper that we had been interviewed for, so that was something different to start the day with! We got out the microscopes and the Hot Wires sets, so that we had something visual to use (as we don’t do workbooks!), and when the photographer left, the boys carried on with them.
The Hot Wires is something I can recommend; whilst he was not interested in electronics, when it involved looking at circuit diagrams or the science of electricity, give him these chunky bits to put together and create things with, is really working. He also enjoyed the visit to a power station that we did in our first year of home ed!
Home Ed Conversations · Thursday October 11, 2007 by Rose
I forgot to mention on Tuesday that the drive to the play area was a typical HE car journey!
Do you have them? Something about being in the car that seems to trigger off all those conversation; conversations that, via a variety of tenuous links and tangents, can take you to all sorts of exciting places which, afterwards, you can’t work out how you got there!
As the weather was so awful, we naturally talked about rain. My 5 year old aspie asked why the rain drops on his window looked a different colour than those on another window. So that led to a discussion about light, absorbtion, refraction, waves etc. Then we looked at the tyre tracks being left on the road by the car in front. So we discussed friction, pressure, centrifugal force, and I explained why tyres have treads. Then SJ commented on the spray being thrown up and said it was like a hurricane; the rain was being sucked up with the wheel (like things being caught up in the cycling wind) and then thrown out. I was really pleased as making that comparison meant that he genuinely understands the concepts involved.
In fact, when we discussed light, JJ explained something to SJ, and then SJ explained part of it to WD – I love it when they are teaching each other!
Yesterday and today have been a bit tough as the baby has been very fractious and I’ve had two very bad nights. Last night he woke up every hour, which was NOT a lot of fun.
Consequently, I haven’t exactly been a ray of sunshine. But this is where I am actually grateful for home ed. When the two oldest boys were at school, if I had a bad day, I’d go and pick them up from school, grumpy and yelling at them to be quiet etc, and the whole evening would be a disaster. Now, we are all in it together, and far more tolerant, understanding and flexible. I know that even on a bad day like today, on balance, they have had good with the bad, rather than the only time they are with me being “bad”.
The boys have continued on their free trials of Meleto, Education City and Maths Upgrade, and have also reawaken their interest in Patrician III. In particular, they are playing a multiplayer game, by being on different pcs in the house and playing together over the internet!
The game teaches them trading, business skills, bartering, commerce, taxes… between this and Sim City they are probably more clued up than their schooled peers! The other good site that JJ uses is the Red Box site from the Government.
I hope for an early night tonight. After the Restaurant, that is! I’m quite hooked on that, as its one of our family dreams….
A Regular Tuesday · Tuesday October 9, 2007 by Rose
Today was a fairly “typical” day for us; lots of stuff going on and hardly a moment to think!
DH was in and out all day with meetings and events to attend, so I’ve been on my own for it all.
This morning my nephew came over. He is 19 months old and my Mum (whose house we share currently) looks after him once a week for my sister-in-law. So we had five children in the house!
I managed to get the chance to get both the older two boys going on their blogs. I decided that, in order to get the maximum “learning” value out of them blogging (which is a recent fascination for them both), instead of correcting any mistakes myself I would write down what needed changing and email it to them. That way, they then had to work through the email and the changes, (hopefully) taking in the points that I had therefore had a chance to explain.
It seems to be working ;0)
Actually I’m very proud of them both. For SJ in particular the skill he is developing in expressing what has happened to him, as well as the sheer feat of remembering it, are great life skills for him to learn. For JJ, with his dysgraphia, I know any form of expression – whether it is drawing, writing, or typing, is tough for him and I admire his fortitude.
After lunch, we went out to the indoor play area that our group visits once a fortnight. The weather was appalling and driving along the main A road was extremely unpleasant.
Once there, it was the usual mixed bag; I love the chance to talk with the other parents, and we enjoy some really good conversations – sometimes funny, sometimes heavy – but I find the constant noise, bright lights, and loud music very tiring.
As the boys are currently not strictly gluten free (as we are awaiting a test for coeliacs disease), their behaviour is always only a few steps away from “hyper” and sadly a trip to this place always tips the balance! But it is still a great chance for them to mix. I think today the ages were from 4 (excluding two babes-in-arms) to 12. We had three with aspergers there too, and all boys, so actually it was a remarkably peaceful time!
After dinner this evening, the two older boys went online and each did some more work; SJ on Maths Upgrade and JJ on Education City. Both are free trials that I am using at the moment as we are in one of those phases that comes along every so often in autonomous learning, when they are ASKING for stuff to do!
I’ve now got a splitting headache but I’m trying to get some coding work done for my husband’s website (this blog is me going off on a tangent!), before hopefully settling everyone down for the night.
